This work focuses on my relationship with my partner, Diana, my relationship with myself, and the small things in life that make it worth living. I find that there is a connection between growth and decay in the photographs- a constant of both damage and growing. The bruises show that we are only human, we cannot be anything else. They come from that place of hurt that Diana and I both were in when we met each other. We both brought all of ourselves to the table, including the hurt. As the work progresses through time, I feel that it becomes more and more about this love, and about myself. This new love has taken over my life and I would not have it any other way. The underlying melancholy tone of the work comes from a similar place of wanting to be happy, but never being able to. This is my depression at it’s finest, always making its way into my work. The work seems to be a visual representation of not only my life, but my headspace. From beginning to end the making of the work didn’t present as necessarily a challenge to me, but more of a technical learning process and a cathartic experience.
Moving through the images I find that they tell a story. I feel like I have finally made something that is nearly exactly what I imagined, and I am not sure how to put all of that into words. I want the images to speak for themselves and speak to each other, and I feel that they do just that. The way the images interact with each other is like no other work I have made. The space between the prints becomes smaller towards the end of the work when it is hung. This is a nod to the closeness of the process and the closeness of my relationship as time progresses. Using the 4x5 camera to make this work created its own sense of intimacy among the images because each image had to be thought out and well executed. I began this work wanting to tell a story, something true to my existence, and I ended with a body of work about love and life. It could not be truer to who I am as a person and as an artist. Sometimes it’s so bright it hurts references the sun and the sky- when I walk outside and so desperately want to look at the sky, but it is so bright it hurts, it makes my eyes water and I cry. Sometimes things are so bright that they hurt, but that is not always a bad thing because they are so beautiful.